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Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts

February 27, 2020

I used to be an elementary school teacher and ed-tech consultant; now I'm a mom of twins and aspiring children's book author.

This blog is a place for me to write about personal life experiences, gleanings from books I've recently read, past and current DIY projects, and reflective thoughts that need a home outside my heart. Here at HeartEyes, I am opening my heart and eyes to yet another new chapter of my life, and my hope is that by joining me here, your heart and eyes would be opened to a more thoughtful and intentional life.

Hi, i'm tiff!

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When I was in I think elementary school, my dad created a binder for me that included checklists of chores, family information (we had a set family time every week), and other documents of important life lessons that he typed up. There was one particular document I will never forget.

This document was actually titled “Life Lessons” and it included probably 20ish points to follow. Simple life lessons that in his mind would build my character and shape me into the type of person I am today. Some points on this document included,

“If you open it, close it.”

“If you break it, fix it.”

“If you borrow it, return it.”

“If you start it, finish it.”

Such seemingly simple statements, right? But throughout life, all of these statements were ingrained in the back of my mind, and I believe I am the way that I am today (kind of an all-or-nothing type of person) because of many of these things that were taught to me early on.

In the past few years, especially since becoming a mom and truly losing my sense of identity for at least a good 3 years, I have struggled the most with one particular statement from that binder: “If you start it, finish it.”

I’ve begun many things and have had many ideas, but have only completed a small fraction of them, and what I blame more recently is my perfectionism. As I get older, and especially since becoming a mom, I’ve noticed how much my expectations (whether conscious or subconscious) are unrealistic, yet I get paralyzed by my perfectionism and don’t end up beginning nor completing some things for fear of it not being perfect or the process itself not being perfect.

So this year, I’m going to try something new and not only try to finish what I begin, but start putting into action the ideas I’ve had in my head but have been procrastinating to move forward with for whatever reason. Ideas big or small, I’m just going to challenge myself to go for it. I think I’ll grow a lot from my experiences and in the end, no matter the results, at least I’ll be able to say I tried.

First Up:

Last year, I did a really good job of buying a bunch of books that I wanted to read, read a few pages in each book, and pretty much finished none of them. This year, one of my goals is to finish reading 1-2 books per month, and because the content of what I want to read is so educational and intriguing to me, I’ve decided to begin a new section on my blog to share what I learn, and also have one place to refer back to when I want to refresh my memory on what I’ve read.

With my background in education, and generally because I’ve always had an interest in childhood development, the brain, and more recently, mental health, I have several books on these topics. As someone who struggles with her own mental health and therefore motherhood as a whole, I feel passionate about learning more on these topics so I can better understand myself and my children.

First Book of 2020:

The first book I finished reading this year was Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleiman. It was a quick and easy read, and all I could think about while reading it was, “Wow, this would have been SO helpful to read during my pregnancy and/or after delivery. Every mom and supporter of moms should read this book.”

Every single page spread is a comic drawing of a real-life scenario where a mom is talking with a speech bubble or thinking with a thought bubble, and what actually gets “said” versus what moms continue to think and worry about is so incredibly relatable. Paired with each comic drawing is a short section explaining what is really going on behind the scenes, along with a 1-5 minute exercise that can be completed right then and there.

This book is a comforting read, and it made me realize that I would have felt way less alone with those often isolating thoughts that mothers have, had this book been in my hands 3 years ago. It also points out indicators for postpartum depression and anxiety, which helps moms understand what is going on and when to seek a specific type of help.

I love this book and would honestly recommend it to any mom or supporter of moms, but I would especially recommend it to anyone who has any worrisome or insecure feelings about parenting.

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Pondering thoughts, personal life experiences, things I love, mental health, marriage life, and everything in between.



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Everything from my birth story to postpartum anxiety and depression, from c-section recovery to mom guilt and judgment. Prepare for raw and emotional posts!


Books + Podcasts

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Gleanings from books I've read and podcasts I've been impressed with, with the occasional children's book recommendations!


DIY Projects

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DIY project tutorials from six years of projects in my home! Very much a work in progress, migrating tutorials from my Instagram page to my blog!


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