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Motherhood sent me to therapy.

August 8, 2018

I used to be an elementary school teacher and ed-tech consultant; now I'm a mom of twins and aspiring children's book author.

This blog is a place for me to write about personal life experiences, gleanings from books I've recently read, past and current DIY projects, and reflective thoughts that need a home outside my heart. Here at HeartEyes, I am opening my heart and eyes to yet another new chapter of my life, and my hope is that by joining me here, your heart and eyes would be opened to a more thoughtful and intentional life.

Hi, i'm tiff!

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Some women dream of being mothers, and once they are, they cannot remember life without their little bundle of joy.

–  I remember life without my kids all. the. time.

Some women are so much happier once they have kids.

–  I was so much happier before I had kids.

Some women curse at their kids when they’re angry and get judged for it.

–  I used to judge those women, but I have become one of them.

So why did I have kids? Because I was worried I would regret it later if I didn’t have any. Lose-lose situation. HA!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my twins, but my love is SUPER conditional. I only love them when they are not crying/screaming/being difficult. When they do any of the aforementioned, my love immediately dissipates and turns into hate.

So much so that it’s made me want to crash the car I was driving with them screaming in the back. So much so that it’s made me want to punch them in the face. So much so that it’s made me want to wither up and die.

Having experienced this anger for the past year and 3-4 months since they were born, and especially having experienced the above 3 incidents within the span of 2 weeks, I realized I needed professional help to get me through whatever I was going through.

So I went and saw a therapist…

…and it was one of the best things I’ve done for myself in the past 2 years.

To date, I have been to 2 therapy sessions, my first being 2 weeks ago. Through conversations with my therapist and many years of consideration, this blog has been born.

It will be an outlet for all the thoughts, feelings, and considerations I have had and will have regarding my current life situation, pregnancy and motherhood in general (especially the topics nobody talks about), as well as the highly-requested instructions for all my recent and past DIY projects.

Life for me changed for the worst the moment I found out I was having twins. This is my journey back to loving life.

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  1. Absolutely love it. Thank you so much for being honest, with yourself first and foremost, and thank you for being honest for the rest of us.

  2. Monica says:

    I appreciate your candor and your willingness to seek help when your struggles became worrisome. I think it is all to easy to judge mothers or imagine all of the ways you would better than them when you haven’t had a child, but having a child doesn’t come with a manual and we will fail and we will fall on our faces. Thank you for always sharing the cringe worthy moments and not just the Kodak moments.

  3. Chelsea says:

    Thanks Tiff for sharing! We all love to post the good and hide the ugly when the ugly sometimes outweighs the good. I am so thankful you asked for help and it is helping. I have always loved that you are real about how things really are.

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Pondering thoughts, personal life experiences, things I love, mental health, marriage life, and everything in between.



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Everything from my birth story to postpartum anxiety and depression, from c-section recovery to mom guilt and judgment. Prepare for raw and emotional posts!


Books + Podcasts

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Gleanings from books I've read and podcasts I've been impressed with, with the occasional children's book recommendations!


DIY Projects

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DIY project tutorials from six years of projects in my home! Very much a work in progress, migrating tutorials from my Instagram page to my blog!


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